New Super Mario Bros. Wii

Mario…how can I paint you in a positive light?  You and Nintendo brought gaming back from the brink of death.  You are a worldwide celebrity on par with Mickey Mouse.  You have saved the same princess from the same angry turtle monster for the past 20 years.  That is what New Super Mario Bros is, a fresh coat of paint on a game you’ve played countless times before.

The story is as simple as always.  Mario, Luigi, and a couple of Toads are at a party for Princess Peach.  An ominously large cake is brought in when suddenly Bowser’s reptile children spring from it and run off with Peach.  Cue the long journey to multiple castles where the Princess is not.

The game is set up near identically to Super Mario 3.  There are nine worlds with a total of 88 levels.  You move from level to level on the map depicting each world.  There are two castle segments where you fight the same Koopa kid per world.  Along the way, you stop at Toad’s house to gather power ups for later use.

What makes this version of Mario so “new” and “exciting” is that it supports four players.  Things can get hectic and a little out of hand when four people are playing at once, but I suppose that is part of the charm.  So long is one player remains alive, you can continue playing the level, freeing your fallen comrades from bubbles as they float by.

Powerups are of the standard fare from mushrooms to Yoshi.  New to this outing are the ice flower which freezes enemies, the propeller hat which allows players to fly, and the penguin suit that grants better control in water and freezing powers.

Graphically, it is a cute game.  Everything is crisp and has a friendly vibe to it.  The soundtrack is the standard Mario fare with some remixes thrown in.  The replay value is on the higher end as there are multiple coins and trapped Toads to be rescued.

While I personally cannot stand Mario, there are those that love the monotonous play.  The children I tested the game on where not among those that enjoyed it.  They were my girlfriend’s daughters, aged nine and six.  After a half hour of play and fighting with one another, they had enough.  The most common complaint was that it was too hard.  I tend to agree.  Mario has always been a series that initiates those unfamiliar with games.  Even with this outing goes back to the directional pad and two buttons, some of the actions required to progress gave even me a challenge.  It seems that this Mario was designed for those that enjoy the repetition this series brings and have played the same game over the past 20 years.

Family Friendliness

I can’t find anything in any Mario game that anyone not living in the middle ages would find offensive.  It is the epitome of family friendliness.

Overall Family Score

Language  10

Modesty  10

Violence  10

Premise  10

Overall Play Score

Graphics  7

Sound  7

Controls  7

Replay Value  8

Story  0

Final Fantasy XIII

The latest entry in the popular Square-Enix series, Final Fantasy XIII marks a milestone for the series.  This is the point where I stop buying Final Fantasy games.  The series has been on a steep decline since X and I fear there is no coming back.

Square-Enix has instituted a trend with their newer games.  They are convinced that an eight to 10 hour tutorial is necessary for each of their games.  XIII is no exception, only this tutorial is dragged out.  In fact, many things are dragged out.  It isn’t until hour 22-25 or the third disc if played on the 360 version that the player is given full control over the party, their abilities, and other essential functions.  I can understand limiting the player for the first few hours as they get used to the learning curve, but this is ridiculous.  Until you hit that 25^th hour sweet spot, the game is linear, boring, and repetitive.  It consists of the player moving the characters down a linear path with occasional encounters along the way.  When you reach the end of the path, cue the lengthy cut scene.  Wash, rinse and repeat.

There are no towns or NPCs to interact with beyond a single line of text.  Stores have been integrated with the save points but are ultimately useless.  As of this writing, I have yet to buy an item from the store.  Potions are not needed and weapons can be upgraded with items dropped by monsters.  The upgrades seem to provide little benefit and take a large amount of grinding to level up fully.  Around that magical 25^th hour, you can move around freely and take up side quests and roam as you please.  Until then, you are locked in for the ride.  It’s a sleepy one at that.  A number of times, I literally fell asleep while playing.  Of course this was during the first 11 chapters.  After gaining control of my party and being allowed to roam a marginal distance, I found myself staying awake.

The story is your typical Final Fantasy fodder.  A group of rag tag youths and one older character must unite to expose and depose the corrupt theocracy.  For the most part, the characters are bland and uninspired.  Some, like Hope, made me question his gender and right to live numerous times.  Over time, some of the characters grew on me, but not enough to compare with classics like Squall or Zidane.

Graphically, XIII is gorgeous.  The visuals, both cgi and in game blow me away time and again.  The game is rich with vibrant color and beauty.  The game’s score is a somber and quiet.  It felt as though I was playing in a dream.  The game would have truly benefitted from the ability to do more roaming.  It is much too confined to do the visuals the justice they deserve.

Beyond the graphics, the battle system is where XIII really shines.  It is called the paradigm system and it focuses on fast and exciting play.  Each character is assigned a class or role.  You program each paradigm around the roles each character plays.  It makes for quick and effective strategies to swap out in each fight.  Say you’re stuck on a tough boss fight, have one character heal while another buffs the party and the third debuffs the boss.  Then you could switch to all high damage roles or if there are multiple enemies, set up one character as the tank while one heals and the other does damage.  In the first 20 or so hours, you characters are restricted to three roles each.  After the magic point in the game, every character can learn every role and ability, allowing you total customization.  It is a fantastic system and a close second to my favorite (the junction system from VIII).

In closing, Final Fantasy XIII isn’t great.  Much like other SE games, it is crippled by the developers.  They restrict the player from fully interacting with the game for too long and even when they take the leash off, you can’t wander that much farther.  I enjoyed some of the characters and loved the battle system and the visuals are astounding.  But no game should take 25 hours to become enjoyable.  The first 11 chapters are an endurance test.  Survive and you’ll see what this game really could have been.  Once SE learns to loosen up on the hand holding and let players enjoy the game we’ll see the Final Fantasy franchise return to glory.

Family friendliness:

Nothing offensive beyond the occasional minor swear.

Overall family score

Language  9

Violence  9

Modesty  10

Story  10

Overall play score

Story   6

Graphics  10

Sound  9

Controls  9

Replay  3 

-Christian Dawson

Second Opinion

While I have to afree that FFXIII is definitely linear at first, I don't have much of a problem with that.  My beef with this game is not that the gameplay isn't opened up, but that the abilities of the party aren't opened up until way later.  At its core, this is Final Fantasy not at its finest, but surely a good game.

As for family friendliness, there is some minor swearing in the game, and some of the female characters are dressed provocatively, however, their bodies are not flaunted.  there is one part where a crystalline female statue is assumed naked, but is covered by crystal, similar to how a bikini might look.  The only other issue that some will have is that this game does in fact come from the fantasy genre, meaning that it uses magic.  the story might be harder for younger gamers to follow, as it is actually hard for some hardcore gamers to understand at first.

-Bob Presswood

Monster Hunter Tri

A series that has long needed to come to consoles finally does.  Only, to the wrong console.  Supposedly, it was supposed to be a PS3 title, but development costs got out of hand, programmers probably got lazy and it went to the Wii.  Seriously, Capcom?  Development costs are keeping YOU down, one of the biggest game publishers?  Too much money go into the rehashing of Street Fighter 4 into Super Street Fighter 4?  Despite being on a lack luster console, Monster Hunter 3 deserves a fair shake.

The Monster Hunter series as a whole hasn’t changed a whole lot.  Much like Mario, Zelda, and Metroid, Monster Hunter puts you in the same situation with each outing.  A village is plagued by monsters; they hire a hunter (you) to wipe them out.  Simple as that.  While I would like to see some innovation and originality, what can you expect?  The game is called “Monster Hunter”.  You hunt monsters.

The game can be played with either the Nun chuck scheme or Classic Controller.  I recommend going with the classic controller, as swinging the stupid remote to unsheathe your sword gets old after the first time.

You’ll get quests from the Guild Board or villagers themselves to hunt various monsters.  Sometimes they’ll need to be killed or captured, or very rarely run off like the delinquents they are.  After killing a monster, they may be harvested for items used in weapon/armor crafting.  There is no leveling system.  You live and die by what you can harvest from the monsters themselves and the environment around you.  To help with this, there are feline companions who can tend to a garden for you, growing herbs and other goodies for hunting use.  Quests are broken up into ranks and after completing so many, an urgent quest will appear, allowing you to increase your rank.

Visually, Monster Hunter is impressive as it can be on the Wii.  It would have been epic on the PS3 or 360, but you can thank Capcom for being cheap.  Still it doesn’t live up to the graphic standards set by games on the GameCube a generation ago (Resident Evil, Resident Evil 4, and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess).  Granted the area is much larger, but I feel a distinct lack of effort on Capcom’s part.  I say this, because both Resident Evil games are Capcom products as well.  They are capable of quality.

The soundtrack is full of Monster Hunter familiarity.  A relaxing treat for the ears but beyond that, nothing to write home about.  Most NPCs don’t have any vocal ability and your character is limited to a short range of grunts.

Monster Hunter brings about a revolution for the Wii in the abolishment of the nefarious friend code.  Nintendo usual blindfold and gag routine flies out the window with a voice chat system in place.  Online, you can team with four other hunters, annoying voices and all to take down tougher hunts for better rewards.  Lag is minimal and I’m amazed at how long it has taken a developer to make a competent online game for the Wii.  Also, there is an offline component where two players on the same console can work together to bring down monsters in an arena setting.  Sadly it does not carry over to the main game.

Monster Hunter is a great series for those who want to experience a MMORPG without the online fees and better than average computer.  But with that comes the grind for materials and better equipment found in MMOs.  This is a game about patience.  Of course, like any other game, this is made better if you have a group of friends to play with.

The Wii finally gets another quality game and hopefully other developers take notice of the way Capcom has crafted the online aspect.  If you have the patience and want a piece of monster hunting glory, then by all means, have at it.

Family Friendliness

Expect Brazilian cut underwear and bare chested men.  It’s another culture, so there’s nothing sexual involved, it’s just how they are.

Overall family score

Language:  10

Violence:  8

Modesty:  9

Premise:  10

Overall play score

Graphics:  8

Sound:  8

Controls:  8

Replay Value:  10

Story:  5

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

I’ve never been one for war based shooters or even first person shooters in general.  There are only a few shooters that demand my attention (Borderlands, Halo, Gears of War).  So it was easy for me to evade the hype that Call of Duty generates.  It went on to be the biggest selling game of all time and I still had no interest.  It took my sister and her husband buying me a copy before I would play it, I simply had no desire.  After playing it, I know now that I wasn’t missing much.

MW2’s story picks up five years after CoD4.  It involves multiple factions vying for power and plenty of obvious double crosses.  You spend most of your time playing as two characters and switching between their respective stories.  There are grand moments of suspense as you’re locked in an overwhelming firefight or racing down a mountain on a snowmobile.  There are times where you’re meant to feel quiet terror.  A prime example being the bombed out DC level where rain pours down onto your unit and lightning illuminates the remains of the ghost capital.  The problem is that it all rings hollow.  I didn’t feel any connection with any of the characters or the events happening around them.  There was no point in the game where I felt emotionally attached.  Even during the highly controversial airport sequence, it all fell flat in my eyes.  But let’s be honest, very few play this series for its story.

Multiplayer is what sucks people in.  Activision’s advertising campaign boasts a player base of 20 million.  While I don’t doubt that, it puzzles me.  I play the game on the Xbox 360 and MW2 has the absolute worst online play I’ve ever experienced on the console.  Multiple times in every play session I’ve had, the match completely stops as the game tries to find a more reliable host.  30% of the time, I find myself removed from the match once said host is found.  Another issue is that only a few match types support party chat.  I know the population of this game.  It consists of screechy pre teens swearing at me or the folks that do nothing but play this game non-stop and call me all kinds of wonderful variations of noob as they gun me down time and time again.  So when playing with my friends, we’re restricted to only a few types of play so we can stay in party chat and keep the unwashed masses out.  Regardless of my complaints, multiplayer does have interesting and enjoyable aspects to it.  You gain experience by playing and level up your weapons depending on how they’re used.  Game modes include free-for-all, search and destroy, demolition, sabotage, domination, team deathmatch, and capture the flag.

Another mode is introduced with this entry, Special Ops.  You and a friend (offline or on) complete specific challenges on maps taken from the campaign but not related.  They run the gambit of challenges from racing snowmobiles to one player providing air support to the other player on the ground.  You are rated after completing each challenge and earn stars based on performance.  It’s something enjoyable to do with a buddy when you want to play without going into multiplayer.

Overall, MW2 is great if you’re into war based shooters and don’t mind spotty online play.  For those like me with little interest in the genre, you’re not missing anything spectacular.  It’s best when played with friends.  Graphics and sound are both among the best I’ve seen this generation.  As a whole, not a bad game, but not anything super terrific.

Family Friendliness:

There is a large amount of blood in the game, from fallen enemies to your own screen being covered when injured.  Language also runs rampant and violence is off the charts.  None of this should be a surprise as this is a war based shooter.  The only questionable part involving the story is the wholesale slaughter of unarmed civilians in an airport early on in the game.  Infinity Ward has a solution to this as it asks before you play if you would not want to play that section.

Overall Family Score

Language  4

Violence  0

Modesty  10

Story  8

Overall Play Score

Story  5

Graphics  10

Sound  10

Controls  10

Replay  8

-Christian Dawson

Second Opinion

Gameplay wise, Modern Warfare 2 is one of the best first person shooters out there.  While not as team oriented as some others, the graphics and sound are unsurpassed so far.  MW2 also boasts the biggest sales among games, so the developers must be doing something right.  My only complaint is that the entire campaign can be completed in about five hours, making it a short game by gamer's standards.  However, this is made up for by the limitless hours of online play.

Family friendly wise, this game has a lot of action.  And by action, I mean that it is the closest game I've seen to live combat.  It gets pretty intense, including the swearing that you'd expect from a soldier.  there is a chapter in the game that you are given the option to skip, where you are playing as an American spying on the Russians, and you are forced to mow down innocent civilians in an airport.  If you are intolerable of violence, then this game is not for you, or you'll want to skip that level at least.

-Bob Presswood

Red Steel

When I think of the Wii, I think of the controls first.  Namely, how they are terrible.  Even with the new Wii MotionPlus, I’m left flailing my arms like the special kid down the street.  I’ve never felt any sense of grace or control during my frantic spats of arm swinging.  So comes along Red Steel 2, a game that is supposed to capitalize on the “precision” of the $20 accessory.  I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in a long time.

The plot is simple enough.  You’re the unnamed hero of the feudal west.  Last of your clan and a city’s only hope, you must rid said city of a gang of dim-witted buffoons.  The main villain is Shinjiro and he’s the one responsible for wiping out the rest of your clan.  Cue the stereotypical revenge story and you’ve got Red Steel down. 

Graphically, Red Steel 2 is one of the uglier games I’ve seen on the Wii.  Everything is a shade of red or brown and looks very muddy.  While I was playing, my girlfriend walked in and (seeing the game for the first time) remarked how hideous it was.  That’s saying something if someone walking is forced to stop and comment on the embarrassing graphics.  The character models are blocky and resemble the many square buildings littering the streets of this vapid world.

The audio is uninspired as well.  From the background music to the voice acting, it’s as flat and bland as the graphics.  Throw in the gimmicky Wiimote sound effects and you’re firing on all cylinders for why I loathe the Wii.

Gameplay is an exercise in futility.  Red Steel 2 is a first person shooter with a far too touchy camera control.  If you’re not careful with the Wiimote, you’ll spend most of your time like I did readjusting they way you’re facing.  Combat consists of swinging the Wiimote (You know what, I’m sick of Nintendo’s dubbing of tech.  Wii this and Wii that…it’s a controller.) err controller as hard and fast as possible to take out your enemies.  No challenge whatsoever when the game refills your health after every encounter.  Later in the game you’ll get a move that essentially breaks it.  You won’t need another and what little challenge evaporates.

Upon completing a mission or purchasing the skill itself, you’ll be forced into a tutorial on how to use your new ability.  Red Steel 2 will treat you like a simpleton as you’re forced to watch a crudely imported girl perform the action three to five times with her controller.  Then, you get the joy of repeating it five times yourself.  This plays out for each move, including the 15 minute tutorial where you learn to perform all the basic moves in the beginning.  What makes it unbearable is the four minute video tutorial before you can play the game explaining how to connect and disconnect the Wii MotionPlus.  I’m convinced Nintendo thinks we’re all morons who would impale ourselves with the control if they didn’t tell us how to use it.

Red Steel 2 is a classic example of the shovelware that plagues the Wii.  Instead of trying to create something with substance, Ubisoft pulled out all the stops for the Wii gimmicks.  From the laughable graphics to the poor “innovative” controls and terrible controller sound effects, it’s a joke and I’m not laughing.  Feel free to avoid this one.

Family Friendliness:

Occasional swearing and your female ally has a low cut top.  Cleavage would have been the highlight if they didn’t look like two cinder blocks strapped to her chest.  Ubisoft took the Mortal Kombat route and turned all the blood into small fountains of mud erupting from fallen enemies.  So is it really murder if everyone is mudman?

Overall Family Score

Language:  7

Violence:  8

Modesty:  9

Premise:  10

Overall Play Score

Graphics:  4

Sound:  4

Controls:  3

Replay Value:  0

Story:  2

Our System of Rating

Here at Insert Token, we strive to rate every video game that we can on not only how “awesome” the game is, but also on how family friendly the game is. We assign them scores from 0-10, and call these scores PlayScore and FamilyScore, respectively. We strive to maintain a balanced approach to each game by also adding a second opinion to each game we review, providing you with the best information needed when decided whether or not a game is appropriate for your family.

However, we understand that not all of our readers’ values line up perfectly with ours. This is why we assign a score to the games, instead of simply saying “Yes, this game is family friendly”, or “No, this game isn’t family friendly”. With a score, you can decide where among our scores you draw the line on whether or not a game is family friendly. You may decide, for instance that anything above a 5 is friendly enough for your home. Or, you might decide that anything above an 8, or 3, or what have you, is family friendly enough for your home. In short, giving it a score allows you to ultimately make an informed decision on what is best for your family; instead of blindly following what we would say is right for your family.

            We also understand that different families look at different things when deciding what is right for their family. Some might put more emphasis on the modesty of the characters, while some might put more emphasis on language. Still, even games that don’t have any bad language or immodesty in them might not be family friendly due to the premise of the game, such as a recent game that came out in which the player is trying to slay angels throughout the game.

            With this in mind, we have broken down the FamilyScore into four areas: Language, Modesty, Violence, and Premise. The next paragraphs will point out what you can expect when you see the scores.

Language
With a score of 10, you can expect that there is no cussing, little to no “slang” words.

With a score of 8-9, you can still expect no cussing, but the use of ‘slang”

With a score of 6-7, expect use of “minor” swear words, such as 4-letter “d” words.

With a score of 4-5, expect frequent use of “minor” swear words.

With a score of 2-3, expect constant use of “minor” swear words, or the use of “major” swear words.

With a score of 0-1, expect frequent use of “major” swear words.
Modesty
10, the characters are dressed to keep even the Amish happy. (No offense to the Amish!)

8-9, expect a short skirt, or an exposed midriff, or a bare-chested man.

6-7, expect the same as 8-9, with an emphasis on the sexuality of the body; also implied sexual actions.

4-5, expect bikinis, or swim trunks on guys.

2-3, expect flaunting swim suits or lingerie.

0-1, expect actual nudity; also actual sexual actions.
Violence

10, the game is mild as a game of solitaire.

8-9, there will be fist fighting, maybe a melee weapon.

6-7, expect explosions, and some blood.

4-5, expect more blood, maybe body parts lying around.

2-3, expect gushing blood with actual amputations.

0-1, expect the player to take part in the torture of others.
Premise

Premise is harder to define, and you would be advised to read the text of the review to determine for yourself whether or not the game’s premise is right for you. But, here is an attempt to define what to expect.

10, there will be nothing to offend a Christian home.

8-9, expect some minor things that some would find offensive, such as an angel being defeated.

6-7, things get a little hairier, and into definite grey areas, protagonist is possibly the bad guy.

4-5, would offend quite a few households, player forced to do evil acts.

2-3, might not be worth a second look.

0-1, downright defiance of Christian values.


- Bob Presswood

Meet The Staff

Bob Presswood - Editor

Bob has been playing video game ever since he can remember.  One of his crowning achievements came when, as a five year old, he beat Super Mario Brothers without dying.

Bob is an ordained minister and has served as a youth pastor at two differnt churches.  He is currently a Sergeant in the US Army, but retains his heart for the youth of America.

Xbox Live - Sapper Woody : PSN - hooahbob

<iframe src="http://gamercard.xbox.com/Sapper Woody.card" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="140" width="204">Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>

Christian Dawson - Senior Writer


Much like anyone who holds a torch of passion for gaming, Christian has been playing games ever since he can remember.  First gaming memory: Excitebike.  For the past 20 years, games have taken a center stage in his life.

Since 2005, Christian has maintained a site at www.zeroand09.com.  It is a place dedicated to gaming and delicious burgers.  His current goal is to review every game he has ever owned.  He is also a top ranked player in Soul Calibur IV.  Seriously, he will destroy you.

Favorite series: Mass Effect, Final Fantasy, Resident Evil, Soul Calibur, Castlevania, Dead Space

Xbox Live - ZeroAnd09 : PSN - ZeroAnd09

<iframe src="http://gamercard.xbox.com/ZeroAnd09.card" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="140" width="204">Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>

Chaille Presswood - Writer


Chaille has been married to Bob since December of 2005.  Although only a casual gamer before meeting Bob, Chaille has really stepped up her gaming since they've been married.

Chaille brings a unique look and approach to gaming that is invaluable to Insert Token: that of a woman, wife, and mother.

Xbox Live - Lewre

<iframe src="http://gamercard.xbox.com/Lewre.card" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="140" width="204">Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>